'Younger' star Nico Tortorella comes out as incredibly exhausting

NEO TUCK “I just pretty recently have come to terms with the fact that maybe I am not fully cisgender,” Tortorella confesses. “This isn’t something I’ve actually talked about on a public level quite yet.” This is how a drag makeover also becomes an important discussion of gender, sobriety, and what it’s like to be judged within the LGBTQ+ community. — I love you @trinitythetuck I love you @them Thank your for all of this. Full story and video link in bio.— Ok, I want to take this opportunity to address a few things from this video. Firstly, my body. My weight has fluctuated my entire life. For the past couple years, I started to really get into shape. Working out sometimes twice a day, diets, supplements, hormones, etc. Remember, I am an addict. Over the past 6 months I have worked out less, ate more, wrote a book, and have tried to love myself more and more every day; body, mind, and spirit. I have days where I love my body, and days when I’m not happy; wishing I still looked like I did. Today I am telling you all of this to shed some light on body dysmorphia and body positivity. Being in shape is so much more than having a six pack, arms, and tight skin. My incredible partner @bethanycmeyers has taught me that. Last night they text me “Just a reminder that you are beautiful and your body is too. Use this workout tonight to clear your head and strengthen your body for your busy day tomorrow” Thank you for always being an inspiration and beacon of light for body positivity. Check out @thebe.comeproject Ok next I have to talk about a comment in the @them video I made about @bigandmilky. Milk is one of my best friends, my drag mother, and complete inspirations. I feel terrible for calling her a smelly ass queen in the video. Truly. Out of context it just sounds mean. The part they cut from the video was me saying she didn’t need to wash her drag anymore. She gets custom designer looks made because she is a supermodel. Dan, the work that you do for gender nonconformity, love, and the community globally with @voices4_ is unprecedented. I love you always babe, I’m so sorry that came out that way. 📸 @1demerith @emilycgeraghty #dragme #niconiconico #allofitisyou

A post shared by nicotortorella (@nicotortorella) on May 15, 2018 at 9:14am PDT

I'm sure I will be told I am missing something here, but am I the only one who thinks saying you're "not fully cisgender" is actually tacitly championing gender stereotypes? Think about it. Why can't someone be a man who likes to be in touch with his so-called feminine side without declaring that he's not cisgender? By saying you're gender fluid or genderqueer, the person -- not society -- is telling the world that wearing makeup, dresses or any of the other things Nico is doing in this Leigh Bowery-esque photo shoot makes one female ... and that when he is muscular, in a suit with a beard that makes him a man. No. That's not how it works. "Cisgender" men and women should be allowed to express themselves any way they want -- so why are we telling people otherwise? (Feeling like a "big girl" sometimes does not gender fluid make.) This is not "judgment" from within the LGBTQ community, this is logical thinking. Stop trying to be the "wokest" person in the room and leave the gender dysphoria to people who legitimately have it.